Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
