You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
