I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
