Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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