i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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