it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize