So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
