I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
