I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Rumble strips road head = magical
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
