Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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