he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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