dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
