Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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