You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize