Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
