We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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