names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
