I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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