I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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