hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
they're like a gay fantastic four
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
