I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Randomize
