He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
