I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
sarcasm needs its own font
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
