Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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