I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
