the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
