why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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