no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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