i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
