If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
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Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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