brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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