i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
