Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
