we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
