I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
