so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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