I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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