He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
