I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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