I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
