Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
