Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
