She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
