just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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