is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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