I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
