I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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