There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
