It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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