don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
