if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
