I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
