you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
