i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
