I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
