I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Do you still have your period?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
