you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
