I like to think it a success when the cops are called
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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