Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
