i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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