69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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