Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
