I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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