I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
