Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
