this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize