Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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