I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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