Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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