Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
im on a boat
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